Two years ago today was my first day of life after undergrad. I'm pretty sure I spent most of that day sleeping... And I know for certain that it didn't feel any different than the end of any of my other four years.
But it was.
There's a reason they call graduation 'commencement' (aside from the fact that it's a big, fancy word and folks in academia just love their big, fancy words...) It may not have felt like it at that moment, but it really was the beginning of something totally new, something totally different.
Sure, I went on to more school, so the whole schedule of classes and such started up again the next fall for me as usual, but things had changed drastically. Grad school isn't just undergrad on steroids, or at least it wasn't for me. It may have been because I lived so far from school, or was the only one in my lab and my classes who was married (except for the profs, of course), or the only Christian, but that sense of community that was there in undergrad never really developed, not even within my lab.
That's been one of the biggest and hardest changes for me over the past two years - I miss my college friends. I'm realizing now that I didn't appreciate the college environment nearly enough while I was there, because there's no other time in your life where all your friends are going to live within walking distance and you all have so much free time to just hang out. Sure, I still email back and forth with some people, or talk occasionally, or, on rare occasions, make use of Google hangouts, but it's not the same. It's harder, but I guess that's sort of a good thing, because the need for intentionality makes you value those friendships more.
And things are changing again now. I'm in Oklahoma, and I've left behind friends once again, moved half a country away from the people who've been my Christian community for the past couple years. I never really liked Jersey (too many horrible drivers...), but I loved the friends I made there, and I knew where I fit in there. Now I get to begin something new out here in the Midwest - it's commencement all over again :) Finding my place, making new friends, discovering a new community - it's another big step. And please don't ask what I'm gonna do once I finish up my thesis... I have no idea. Give me a couple months :)
I was gonna say that there were a couple things that haven't changed, but that's not actually true, so let me figure out a way to rephrase it... There are two pieces of my life that have remained constant at their core, while growing all the while. You can probably guess what those are - my relationship with God, and my relationship with Trevor.
Getting married was a big change in the latter one in some ways, but even as we learn and grow together, we're still working off the foundation that we built before he ever proposed. And the one piece that always remains constant is the fact that we care about each other, that we love each other. So even as things change, I have that to rely on.
And I also have my God. Again, the relationship there isn't the same as it was two years ago. I'd like to think that it's a little deeper, that I trust him a little more and doubt him a little less, that I'm doing a little better at following his will for me. That's what I've been working on, at least, and I think the changes are small, but there. The one thing I know for sure - God is always there. That is always constant. God is my constant. (*chuckles to self at entirely appropriate Lost reference there*)
So was graduation two years ago really the beginning of an entirely new part of my life? Yeah, it was. But I think those new beginnings come along all the time, even when we don't celebrate them with a giant ceremony and dorky caps and gowns. My goal: to run with the opportunities God puts in front of me, to appreciate what I can and learn as I go, but not forget where I've been. Guess we'll see how that works out in these next two years :)
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