Birth = exhaustion and exhilaration

1) I'd heard that pregnancy was like a marathon, but people forgot to mention that at the end of that marathon, you have to run an Ironman. Or at least that's what it felt like to me, and I didn't even have a particularly long labor! The level of exhaustion on all fronts was like nothing I've ever felt before, and I'm incredibly glad that both Trevor and our doula were there, because I depended on their physical and emotional support so much to keep me steady as things progressed. Of course, the reward at the end of all that hard work was one hundred percent worth everything it took to get there - my baby boy finally in my arms after months of anticipation.

2) Whenever people heard I'd had multiple kidney stones during pregnancy, they would then tell me I'd have no problem with giving birth. If only that had been true... Everyone experiences pain differently, and I honestly found labor pain to be much more difficult to cope with than kidney stone pain. It didn't necessarily hurt more, but it hurt differently, and in a way that I couldn't compartmentalize nearly as well. On the plus side, labor pain leads to an adorable baby, rather a tiny chunk of nasty looking minerals. I also found myself craving Trevor's encouraging words and reassuring touch during labor, which was pretty much the opposite of how I feel with kidney stones, and was good for connecting as a couple in those moments.

3) Everyone says that when you first hold your child in your arms, you discover a level of love that you've never felt before, but that wasn't the case for me. Granted, I was ridiculously happy to finally have him in my arms, and snuggling him has continued to be one of my favorite things. But I don't feel like the depth and intensity of the love I feel towards my little boy has changed with his birth - it's been constant since week eight of pregnancy, when I had some bleeding and thought we might be losing the baby. I realized in that moment how much I loved this child that I'd never seen, and while gazing into his eyes right after he was born was a moment of intense joy, it didn't magically increase that love. It simply reaffirmed it, and I'm guessing my understanding of what that love looks like will change and grow as my little boy does - I'm excited for that.

Stay at home? I'm good with that

It has been forever since I last posted, but with all the craziness right now in the world I felt like writing again, and thought I'd share a very random selection of thoughts and observations from the past week and a half.

1. Somehow, none of the pregnancy books I read had a chapter on giving birth in the middle of a pandemic.
2. I keep opening doors into my pregnant belly, because I'm not used to it sticking out this far!
3. Organizing baby clothing and supplies is very calming.
4. Also baby clothes are tiny and adorable.
5. Technology is awesome when you can't be with people in person. So far we've had a girls' movie night, a church devotional, caught up with family, and played board games, all via the internet.
6. I started reading Knowing God at the beginning of the month, and it's been so encouraging and reassuring in the midst of all this mess.
7. Also I've found Isaiah 40 very comforting.
8. There aren't many rom-coms that I like to rewatch, but Hitch has the right mix of humor and likeable characters to be hilarious every time.
9. Please never treat a food allergy by drinking a bottle of Benadryl.
10. Contrary to some of the memes I've seen circulating, my cat is very happy to have his humans home all day.
11. Speaking of memes and such, there's a lot of great stuff out there. I think I'll end with one of my favorites: