In which I attempt to be more cultured and actually end up enjoying myself

One of my goals this year was to watch all the nominees from the Best Picture category at the Oscars. Generally that wouldn't be something that I'd even consider doing, but since my movie watching had become heavily skewed toward action flicks and the nominees this year actually looked interesting, it seemed like as good a time as any to try to be a bit more cultured. There were only nine nominees, and I'd actually seen two of them before the Oscar nominations were announced, but it still took me a while to get through the other seven since I tended to get distracted by movies that were more fun to watch. In the end, I found eight of the nine Best Picture nominees to be excellent movies, and I'm glad I set myself this goal because I'm certain some of these films will stick with me in a way that Jumanji will not.

And now, a listing of the nominees, ordered by how much I liked them.

#9. Fences
This was the only nominee that I didn't think deserved its nomination. While Viola Davis turned in a stunning performance, the majority of this film fell flat, due to an inability to embrace the change in medium from stage to screen. However, I don't think I would have liked it any better in its original stage format. The main character was terrible to his family, and yet the ending seemed to want you to remember him fondly, without ever having shown you a good reason why you should.

#8. Hidden Figures
I enjoyed this story of the women behind the US space launches in the 1960s, although I would have liked it more if the screenplay hadn't Hollywood-ized history to make things more dramatic. I especially liked the story of Mary Jackson, and her efforts to break into the predominantly white- and male-dominated profession of engineering. The only reason this is towards the bottom of my list is because there were so many good movies in this year's nominations.

#7. Hacksaw Ridge
I like war movies quite a bit, and we saw this one in theaters on opening weekend. The battle scenes in this were difficult to watch (though not quite as hard as the opening of Saving Private Ryan), but I think it's occasionally necessary to remember what has been sacrificed in service of our nation, and movies like this help with that. The treatment of religion was also well handled, and Andrew Garfield was perfect in his role.

#6. Moonlight
I know this movie won Best Picture, and artistically, it was very well done (although I'm not quite sure about the ending, or lack thereof). The acting was also excellent, and the cinematography was beautiful. I also liked the way the story was structured, and I can see why it won, even if I didn't enjoy it quite as much as some of the other nominees.

#5. Hell or High Water
This was very much a modern-day Western, and watching it made me miss the open landscape and big sky of Oklahoma and Texas. It has a shorter run time, but that works well, because things move at just the right pace. The characters and their various interactions are fascinating, the action is interspersed nicely throughout the movie, and every scene feels necessary to the narrative.

#4. Manchester by the Sea
If I were going to give a Best Picture award based solely on the quality of the movie and not on my enjoyment of it, this would be the nominee that I would vote for. Casey Affleck completely deserved his Best Actor win, and this movie haunted me for weeks after I watched it. It made me think a lot about hope, and the lack thereof, and the source of true hope, and I actually ended up being encouraged by what was honestly a fairly depressing movie.

#3. Lion
As someone with an adopted brother from another country, this movie hit home in ways that I didn't expect. It was also based on an incredible true story, and I always get emotional over stories about family to begin with. I managed to stay fairly emotionally stable right up until the very end, and then lost it at a couple of the details revealed in the text onscreen.

#2. Arrival
An alien first contact movie that isn't really about the aliens at all, this was a beautiful movie. I sadly missed out on seeing it in theaters, but even on the small screen the cinematography was lovely, and the story itself was wonderful. I've read a few articles about how the language you speak affects the way you think about things, and the way this movie integrates that idea makes for a powerful ending.

#1. La La Land
I love this movie. The cinematography is gorgeous, there's a wonderful balance between the suspension of reality and the recognition of it, and the nods to old Hollywood are everywhere. It's simultaneously a celebration and critique of the classic films that inspired it, and Mia and Sebastian are as close as we're going to get nowadays to an iconic film couple, even if their story isn't quite the Hollywood fairy tale you might expect.

Pixelate and motivate

One of my favorite shirt designs.

Here's something that won't come as a surprise to most of you who know me: I'm not the most motivated person in the world. In fact, I can be downright lazy. I'm also a master procrastinator, and I don't like doing things that don't have immediate results.

These are not helpful traits when you're trying to get in shape, or finish a thesis, or do anything else that takes perseverance. Unfortunately, these are also not easy traits to get rid of, especially when they've become ingrained in your way of living. And while I have yet to find the ideal solution to this issue - that is, one with immediate results (yes, this is a problem) - I've managed to figure out at least a temporary solution: if I'm more motivated when I see an immediate reward for my work, I'll give myself that reward.

As it turns out, I'm very much not alone in struggling with motivation and procrastination, and thanks to a comment from Owen on this blog back in August, I ended up joining Habitica. (It was a very fortuitously timed comment, which just goes to show that you never know what little thing you say could make a big impact.) Anyway, Habitica is a website where you gamify your life, with every good habit and completed task earning you gold and XP, and every bad habit and missed task losing you HP. You get to fight bosses, collect pets, and deck your avatar out in sweet gear, all by doing daily tasks, checking things off your to-do list, and building good habits. And every task, habit, and goal is something you set yourself, so it's infinitely customizable.

Look at my adorable little gryphon!

I know, this is starting to sound like an advertising pitch (albeit a really nerdy one). But I can honestly say that Habitica is primarily responsible for me finishing my thesis this year without having a mental breakdown, and I'm also exercising more and eating a healthier diet. I get to see immediate results while continuing to work toward long-term goals, and it's great.

I'm still working on perseverance without outside motivation, but this is definitely progress. Plus, good habits are easier to maintain than to build in the first place, and my hope is that habits built this way will be ones I can learn to maintain on my own with time. And even if this experiment fails in the end, I'll still have one giant success - my thesis is finally out of the way!

Book reviews for a blustery day

Today is the very definition of a blustery day, with the wind blowing like crazy and a storm on the way. But I'm quite cozy inside, curled up with a blanket and book. If my only reading goal this year was a book for each week, I'd be there, having just checked off book #52 for the year. This makes two years in a row now where I've passed the 50-book mark, and although I might not always do a great job of prioritizing reading challenge books, the real goal has simply been to recapture my old love of reading, which has definitely happened. It's just that my libraries are so tempting...

41. Catch Me If You Can, by Frank W. Abagnale

(Read for the Mount TBR challenge.) This was a lot of fun to read. He pulled off some seriously crazy cons, and his attention to detail and intelligence were very apparent. Given that it's the autobiography of a preeminent con man, I feel like some things were probably embellished, but that doesn't make it any less of a whirlwind adventure to read. 
My rating: 8/10

42. This Dark Endeavour, by Kenneth Oppel

This was darker than I anticipated, mostly because the narrator, a young Victor Frankenstein, was not the nicest person. It was easy to see how this kid could become the Frankenstein of Mary Shelley's novel - he had all the same flaws and passions, and getting inside his head was not always pleasant. Also, giving Victor a twin was a clever addition that made his darker side stand out even more in contrast to Konrad's better nature, as well as providing much of the impetus that drove both the action and the romance (if you can call it that; Victor was more of a creep than anything else).   My rating: 6/10

43. Here Abide Monsters, by Andre Norton

(Read for the Mount TBR challenge.) This is definitely not my favorite of the Andre Norton books I've read, but it was interesting enough. I never really connected with any of the characters, although the Vicar, Mrs. Clapp, and Rita all had facets that I appreciated. I liked the ideas, especially the exploration of the power of belief, but the pacing of the story felt off to me, with not enough of importance happening in the first part of the book and too much crammed into the last part.   My rating: 6/10

Dragons, devils, and monsters in the mist: The latest reading update

I got sucked down the black hole of fanfic again this past month, but still managed to do a good bit of reading off my lists for reading challenges. Just as an aside, I only include fanfics in this count if they're completed and at least 40,000 words long (it's a rather arbitrary number, but I figure a word-count in that range is the equivalent of at least a 150 page book). So I've read a bunch of Daredevil and Defenders fics lately that aren't on here but add up to many hours of reading... I have problems. I also don't include comics/graphic novels here, but I do rate and review those on Goodreads. Not that anyone reading this probably cares, but whatever.

30. How to Train Your Dragon, by Cressida Cowell

I hate exercising with a fiery passion. What does that have to do with this book, you ask? Well, I listened to this book during my daily walks, which are usually my least favorite part of my day. And I enjoyed the audiobook so much that I actually caught myself, more than once, looking forward to my walk. Which pretty much never happens. Part of that was due to the story itself, which is action-packed and humorous in an aimed-at-young-boys sort of way. And part of that was due to the exceedingly excellent narration. David Tennant gives every character a unique voice, and not only are the voices distinct, but they convey quite perfectly the personality of the characters. It was a great listening experience, and I'll be queueing up book two very soon here. 
My rating: 8/10

31. Beowulf, translated by Seamus Heaney

I quite enjoyed this, although I'm curious as to what Heaney's translation sacrificed in favor of readability. Not that I'm complaining about the readability - after all, that's why, after a bit of research, I chose this translation for my first read through. Now that I've got the gist of the story, though, I'm itching to go try out some other translations for comparison, though that will have to wait until after I've made significant progress on my reading challenges. 
My rating: 9/10

32. Firebirds Rising, edited by Sharyn November

(Read for the Mount TBR challenge.) Like many short story anthologies, this book was a mixed bag. I found the majority of the stories to be either uninteresting, awkwardly written, or both, which was disappointing. However, there were some stories that were decent, and a few stories that I enjoyed enough that I'll probably end up keeping the book just for them. Wintermoon Wish, Hives, and Cousins are all pretty good stories, What Used to Be Good Still Is has just the right tone and a bittersweet ending, In the House of the Seven Librarians is a delightful tale for anyone who loves libraries, and I'll Give You My Word is a clever story that will have you pulling out your dictionary. It's hard to rate a collection like this when the stories are all over the map, but I'll be generous and rate it more highly than it probably deserves, just because I liked the magical library so much.   My rating: 6/10

33. The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, by Robert Heinlein

(Read for the Read It Again, Sam challenge.) This is one of my top ten favorite books. Told in first person, the story takes place in a future where the Moon is a prison colony (much like Australia) settled by criminals, political dissenters, and their descendants. The narration style is unique, as the inhabitants of Luna have their own bastardized dialect, and the world-building is outstanding. I reread this book once every five years or so, and every time I appreciate it just a bit more. I also realized this time around that it definitely played a role in the development of my political views. 
My rating: 10/10

34. Eaters of the Dead, by Michael Crichton

(Read for the Mount TBR challenge.) In the afterword, Michael Crichton states that this book was written to prove to a friend that the story of Beowulf doesn't have to be boring. If that was the goal, I think he succeeded (although I didn't find the original boring to begin with, so I may be biased). Written in the style of a historical manuscript, complete with annotations and a pseudo-scholarly introduction, this book does a wonderful job of creating a possible origin for the Beowulf legend. The matter-of-fact recounting of the story makes the creatures of the mist both more believable and more frightening, and though the dry style takes some getting used to, it serves to ground a fantastical tale of monsters firmly in reality.   My rating: 8/10

35. Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley

(Read for the Read It Again, Sam challenge.) This was the first time I had read this book for my own enjoyment. I'd read it twice before, first in high school and then again in college, but both times it was part of an assignment. I still liked it back then, but it was nice this time to be able to read without being expected to dissect the text afterward. Reading for fun allowed me to appreciate the writing more, without constantly making notes (mental or otherwise) of possible points of discussion or critique, instead simply immersing myself in the story.   My rating: 8/10

36. How to Get Filthy Rich in Rising Asia, by Mohsin Hamid

(Read for the Mount TBR challenge.) This was a clever and sad book. I don't think I've ever read anything written in second person before, but the structure of this book worked well, and the writing was lovely, in a very real, very bittersweet sort of way. I wouldn't have tried something like this without a recommendation, so I'm grateful to my brother for giving it to me.   My rating: 9/10

37. Going Solo, by Roald Dahl

Dang, this guy had a crazy life! I really enjoyed the stories of his time in Africa, although the ones about snakes kind of freaked me out at times. It was interesting to get a snapshot of late British colonialism in Africa as well - it's easy for me to forget that it wasn't that long ago that Europe was sticking its fingers everywhere on that continent and elsewhere. Dahl's adventures in World War II, especially in Greece, were seriously intense, with numerous close shaves and narrow escapes. I kept thinking to myself how glad I was that he didn't die there, because then we would have missed out on all the books he would go on to write. The narration was also excellent, although now my mental picture of Roald Dahl as a young man looks like Dan Stevens, even though I went and looked Dahl up to find pictures from his RAF days.   My rating: 10/10

38. Devil's Own, by gaelicspirit

So I started reading Daredevil fanfic in the aftermath of The Defenders, because I'm a sucker for punishment. Written post-season one, this fic stays pretty true to character and does a decent job of capturing the mood and feel of the show. I liked the way the ties between Nelson and Murdock's newest case and Matt's past allowed for some good emotional exploration, as well as the fact that Father Lantom got to play a role, and of course Claire and Karen being badass. This fic also did a good job with Matt and Foggy's friendship, as well as with the other relationships.   My rating: 7/10

39. Steelheart, by Brandon Sanderson

(Read for the Mount TBR Challenge.) This was a fun, fast-paced adventure. I saw two of the major plot twists coming a long way out, but that didn't make the story any less enjoyable. I really like that the Epics are basically evil superheroes, even to the point where Steelheart's description makes it sound like he looks like a dark version of Superman - it's a nice twist on your typical superhero story. I also found all the bad metaphors to be hilarious, plus Cody's general ridiculousness had me frequently snorting with laughter. The action scenes were well-written, and I'm looking forward to seeing where the story goes from here.   My rating: 8/10

40. Just in Case, by Beguile

So this fic is basically a collection of twenty or so shorter hurt/comfort stories featuring Matt and Foggy. Given that h/c is one of my favorite fanfic genres, I greatly enjoyed this, especially because everyone is very in-character for the most part. I like fics like this because they give characters a chance to work through their issues in a way that doesn't always happen on the show. Plus, I needed a happier ending for my favorite avocados-at-law post-season-two than the show gave me.   My rating: 8/10

Because I'm tired of people hating on Iron Fist

Yes, I know I'm late to the party, but do you know how hard it is to find any positive reviews of Iron Fist? Most of the sites where I normally get my TV news were pretty brutal, and even the kinder reviews tended to be of the "here's a few good things in the midst of all the bad" type. And it isn't just the reviewers online - my friends also seem to feel at best ambivalent about the show. Given all that, I had a lot of trouble figuring out why I enjoyed it more than both Luke Cage and Jessica Jones. (To be clear here, I'm not saying it was a better show than either of those. It was probably the weakest of the solo series, but somehow that didn't stop me from enjoying the heck out of it.)

After some thought, and a couple conversations, here's my reasoning on why I liked Iron Fist.

First, unlike 99% of the internet, I actually like Danny Rand. Sure, at times he can be, to quote one reviewer, a "whiny, arrogant twerp." But he isn't always; sometimes he's really sweet, and at heart he just wants to belong. Another complaint I've seen takes this into account: there are those who are annoyed by the fact that Danny's character and mood often change wildly from one moment to the next. To both of these complaints I say, have you ever met a preteen or teenage boy? Danny's character is perfectly in line with his backstory. While he may physically be an adult, he lived in a monastery with warrior monks from the age of ten onward, which I imagine would greatly stunt emotional and mental maturity, especially since the monks were basically abusive and saw any emotion as weakness. I can understand if you don't like Danny's character, but please realize that he's supposed to be the way he is. And just like I still liked my little brothers when they were going through the whiny, arrogant twerp stage, I still like Danny Rand, despite his flaws. I think he has a lot of potential, and I'm looking forward to seeing him continue to grow.

Second, a quick note on casting. I know there were a lot of people who were pissed when Finn Jones was cast as the Iron Fist. Most of the controversy was because people wanted to see an Asian-American actor in the role, but Danny Rand in the comics is white, so I'm not angry about that. Would it have been nice to see some more representation in Netflix's superheroes? That would have been awesome. Would it make sense to be angry if they had cast a white guy in a role that wasn't white to begin with? Most definitely. But since Danny Rand is white in the source material, it should come down to the performance of the actor rather than their ethnicity. Personally, I like the way Finn Jones plays the character, so I'm okay with him in the role.

Third, I don't have a problem with the way the series conveyed information about characters and plotlines. I realize that "show, don't tell" is often a more enjoyable method of giving the viewer information, and Iron Fist tends to go the opposite direction, doing a lot of telling rather than showing, especially about K'un-Lun and Danny's past. I rarely have trouble with that sort of storytelling though, because whether I'm shown or told, my brain is busily imagining everything and the end result is the same - I actually see it play out, either on screen or in my head. I also end up with headcanons galore for any series I care about, extrapolating on every little piece of data a show doles out in order to flesh out the universe and the characters, which tends to act as a compensation measure for any weak writing on the show itself.

Fourth, I came to the show with incredibly low expectations. It took me nearly five months to even get around to starting it, partly because I hadn't finished Luke Cage yet, but mostly because I'd only heard negative things. So when I found myself a) liking Danny Rand, and b) not finding the show boring or irritating, I was pleasantly surprised. I actually ended up watching Iron Fist faster than any of the other solo series except season one of Daredevil, because it was fun to watch. (Jessica Jones was excellent but very hard to watch because of Kilgrave. Luke Cage was good but intense. Daredevil season two sagged in the middle.)

Fifth, it had Madame Gao. I love the way she plays mind games with people. You never really know exactly what she knows or what she's thinking or even what she's capable of, and that makes a her great villain. She, more than any of the others of the Hand, is legitimately frightening, and has been since she first appeared in Daredevil. Every time she shows up in one of these series it makes me happy, and she had better be back after what happened on Defenders.

I could probably come up with a few more points if I thought about it longer, but these are the major ones. I have no illusions about changing anyone's mind on this - I know better than that. But hopefully, after reading this, you'll no longer think I'm insane for liking Iron Fist, or at the very least you'll grant that it's a reasoned insanity.

Back to books! (It's like "back to school" except more fun)

My placeholder note in this location reads, "Say something here about reading. Or don't." I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you all that The Defenders will be on Netflix in five days, so if you binge one season per day of all the related shows, you can still be caught up in time... Not that I'm recommending that option - I recommend taking the time to really savor these shows, just like you would an excellent book. (See, I brought it back around to books after all.)

19. Mere Christianity, by C.S. Lewis

One of the Sunday School classes at our church tackled this book recently. I greatly appreciate some of the points Lewis makes in this book, as well as some of the wording and imagery he uses when making those points. I also completely disagree with him on some things, but even in those areas this book still ends up challenging me to think about what I believe and why I believe it, which is beneficial in the long run. I'd say it's a staple of Christian reading for a good reason.   My rating: 8/10

20. broad-shouldered beasts, by bullroars

Rereading Jurassic Park led to rewatching Jurassic World, which led to skimming JW fanfic recs, which led to reading this (and a bunch of other shorter fics). Written fairly soon after the movie came out, this fic does a great job of creating an alternate universe where, at the time of the Indominus Rex incident, Owen has been living in the wild with his raptors for several months. The first three-quarters of the fic is the best, with things feeling a little rushed once Indominus gets out, but I really enjoyed the characterization and the story definitely kept my interest. I love Owen and the raptor squad, and I love Claire being smart and tough and in charge, so this fic was exactly my cup of tea.   My rating: 8/10

21. The Time Keeper, by Mitch Albom

I picked this book up on a whim because the idea seemed interesting. If I had tried to read it in print form, I think I would have given up before getting even halfway through, as the writing was often lackluster. However, I listened to it as an audiobook and the narrator was excellent, taking what was at best average prose and infusing it with emotion and life. 2.5 out of 5 stars for the book itself, 4+ stars for the narration.   My rating: 5/10

22. None Like Him, by Jen Wilkin

I think the best way to describe this book is simply to quote from what the author says in her introduction: "I want us to consider the majesty of a limitless God. I want us to meditate on his perfections so that they become to us the most rational object of our reverence and awe. And along the way, I want us to stare down our tendency to ask others and even ourselves to be what only God is." Steeped in Scripture and not pulling any punches, this book is a wonderful reminder of what it means to be followers of an infinite God.   My rating: 9/10

23. Beyond the Glass Slipper, by Kate Wolford

(Read for the Mount TBR challenge.) "Fall in love with" is definitely overselling the stories in this book - they range from just okay to pretty good. So, if you just want to read fairy tales and folklore, look elsewhere. On the other hand, if you're like me and want an accessible book that delves beyond the surface of a variety of tales, this book is good. I found the reading order that worked best for me was to read the intro to each story first, then the tale itself, then the annotations, and end with the questions to consider. I'm definitely not a fairy tale scholar, and can't honestly call myself even a casual fan of fairy tales (I haven't even read all the well known fairy tales), but I did enjoy this book.   My rating: 7/10

24. Bloodline, by Claudia Gray

You know what I miss most about the EU novels? I miss having Han, Leia, and Luke as the main characters. While the new canon novels I've read haven't been terrible, they're definitely lacking in that aspect. Even this one, which actually has Leia as a main character, suffers from a lack of Han and Luke (especially since it would have made perfect sense for Han to be part of a mission dealing with a criminal organization). Although since the author seems to struggle with characterization, maybe it's good they weren't all major players. Also, while I might buy this being Leia shortly after Return of the Jedi, I have a hard time believing this is Leia with twenty-plus years of senatorial experience under her belt. That being said, I really liked some of the original characters in this book. While they weren't the characters I've known and loved for years, Greer, Joph, and especially Ransolm Casterfo were developed enough that I truly cared about what happened to them. I also appreciated the fact that I came away from this book with a better understanding of how both the Resistance and the First Order came to be.   My rating: 7/10

25. Modern Romance, by Aziz Ansari

I found this to be a very interesting read (or in my case, listen, since I occupied myself with the audiobook over the course of a few longer flights). Since I married my college sweetheart the summer after graduation, my own romantic experience has been very different from the majority of my generation, and I found it fascinating to think about all the various impacts that our technological advances have had on the world of dating. Also, I come from a conservative religious background, so contrasting that with secular views on dating provided another point of interest for me. As for the audiobook itself, it's narrated by the author, so if you like Aziz Ansari, you should totally go for the audiobook version. Personally, I highly enjoyed it.   My rating: 8/10

26. Run with the Horses, by Eugene H. Peterson

(Read for the Mount TBR challenge.) This book did a great job of exploring what we know of the life of Jeremiah, and of applying Jeremiah's example to our lives today. Some chapters I found very encouraging, some chapters I found rather convicting, and there were a lot of things I needed to hear for one reason or another. Also, the practical applications generally seemed to flow quite naturally out of the descriptions of Jeremiah's life, which helped things connect for me.   My rating: 9/10

27. Till We Have Faces, by C.S. Lewis

(Read for the Mount TBR challenge.) My favorite part about this book has to be how rich the storytelling is. The writing is beautiful, the characters are compelling, and the blend of reality and mythology works wonderfully. The kingdom of Glome and its citizens feel like they were lifted from the pages of history, but the gods also feel equally real and present in the story, casting long shadows that touch everything in one way or another. Unlike most of Lewis's other fiction, which is very Christian in its allegorical application, this book is more about humanity and belief in general than about any one religion. Orual tells her story as an accusation against the gods, and the questions that she struggles with along the way are often ones of philosophy and theology, which do not always have easy answers.   My rating: 9/10

28. The Negotiator, by Dee Henderson

(Read for the Read It Again, Sam challenge.) Quality literature this is not, but I don't care - sometimes you need a fun break from the heavier stuff (says she as she binges TWD and reads The Stand at the same time). These books come with a healthy helping of nostalgia, since I was introduced to them back in high school when they first came out. The mystery/action part of the plot is paced well, the romance never gets overly mushy or anything, and I've always been able to see and hear the main characters in my head very clearly. (Kate looks like Evangeline Lilly, in case you were wondering, which I'm sure you weren't. I have yet to find someone who matches up with my image of Dave.)   My rating: 8/10

29. The Drawing of the Three, by Stephen King

There were times when I really liked this story, and times when I wasn't so sure, but one thing was always true: I greatly enjoyed the way in which this story was told. The storytelling is vivid, the characters are fascinating (which is not necessarily synonymous with likable), and the plot moves at a rapid pace. It's been quite a while since I found a book I couldn't put down, but this was definitely one of those.
My rating: 8/10

Star Wars, Titans, and Norse gods: A reading update

I think it's time for another book post. Some of these counted toward my reading challenges, while others caught my attention and distracted me from the aforementioned challenges. I've also started listening to audiobooks again, although it takes me a while to get through each one since I only listen to them 20-30 minutes at a time.

8. Danger in the Shadows, by Dee Henderson

(Read for the Read It Again, Sam challenge.) I loved this series in high school. I know they're not great literature, but they're fun to read, and have a nice blend of romance and action/suspense. I don't like this prequel quite as much as the rest of the series, mostly because Sara and Adam aren't my favorite characters from these books (and I've never been able to visualize them). That being said, it's still a good captivating story and I do really like Dave - I feel like this book gives you some added insight into his character that comes in handy when you read the next book.   My rating: 7/10

9. Chasing the Moon, by A. Lee Martinez

(Read for the Mount TBR challenge.) This was a quick and moderately enjoyable read, which had the potential to be much more but never really went past surface-level motivations and characterizations. Vom, Smorgaz, and Zap were generally entertaining, as were the mutant bugs trying to rewrite history, and the bit where Diana accidentally created a coat-worshiping cult. Honestly, the weirder bits were the highlights of this book, but sadly there wasn't enough substance connecting those snippets.   My rating: 6/10

10. The Bad Beginning, by Lemony Snicket

This book does a very good job of setting the stage for the rest of the series - introducing the Baudelaires, creating a sinister villain in Count Olaf, and establishing the tone that the rest of the series will maintain. However, the plot in this book loses out a bit to the setup for future books, and it isn't quite as interesting as the next few books are. So, 3 stars for the story. Since I listened to the audiobook, I feel compelled to add that the audiobook actually added to my enjoyment of the book, which is a rarity for me.   My rating: 6/10

11. Norse Mythology, by Neil Gaiman

I've loved Norse myths ever since I picked up a copy of The Children of Odin at a library booksale as a kid. So when I saw Neil Gaiman was putting together a retelling of various tales from Norse mythology, I was very excited. It didn't disappoint. Gaiman breathes new life into these familiar stories and characters, while still maintaining the feel of the original myths.   My rating: 9/10

12. The Princess Diarist, by Carrie Fisher

I liked the beginning and end of this book, and felt uncomfortable reading the middle, like I was spying on something that should have stayed private. I think that was because I felt like Carrie Fisher's openness about herself was good as long as it was just herself she was uncovering, but went too far when that truth involved someone else as well. Still, I appreciated the look inside the mind of a teenager who had no idea she was on the verge of stardom, as well as a glimpse into what that stardom meant in the long run.   My rating: 6/10

13. The Titan's Curse, by Rick Riordan

Do I remember my Greek mythology? Not unless you count Disney's Hercules. What about what happened in the previous two books of this series? I have vague recollections of certain scenes but that's about it. Did I enjoy this book anyway? Yeah, I did. I feel like remembering more might have increased my enjoyment, but either way it's a fun, fast-paced romp filled with manticores and pegasi and loads of other mythological beings. Plus, Annabeth is MIA for most of it, which is great because one thing I do remember about the first couple books is not really liking her.   My rating: 6/10

14. The Tombs of Atuan, by Ursula K. Le Guin

(Read for the Read It Again, Sam challenge.) I'd read this book once before, maybe fifteen years ago, but remembered very little of it - what memories I had were a confusing tangle of this story and the Greek myth of the Minotaur, which ended up mixed together in my brain. While this is technically a sequel to A Wizard of Earthsea, and Ged is a central character in the later events of the book, it's very much Tenar's story. This decision gives the book a very different feel than it would have had if it had been told as the story of Ged's quest for the Ring of Erreth-Akbe. And while the pacing falters at times, I think the book as a whole paints a compelling picture of Tenar's world and its effects on her, as well as her struggles when Ged's appearance challenges everything she believes.   My rating: 7/10

15. Pawn's Gambit, by Timothy Zahn

(Read for the Mount TBR challenge.) When I'm in the right mood, I really like Timothy Zahn's particular brand of storytelling. I also enjoy collections of short stories by a single author because it's fun to see the variety in the ideas they come up with. I do have a bad habit of setting down these kind of books after finishing a sub-par story and not picking them up again for a long time, even if I liked the majority of the stories up to that point, which happened a couple of times with this book - I found most of the stories to be very interesting, and some had fun twists to them, but there were a couple of duds in there. The others more than made up for that, though, and there were a few I thought were especially good.   My rating: 8/10

16. Rogue One, by Alexander Freed
Books like this are why I read movie novelizations in the first place. Freed takes the characters and gives them depth and backstories that the movie only hinted at. In doing so, he gives choices and events from the movie the background they need to pack an emotional punch, and makes the story hold together even better.   My rating: 8/10

17. The Gunslinger, by Stephen King

Confession: I've never read any Stephen King prior to this. If this book is any indication, he paints incredibly vivid pictures with his writing, which is something I look for in books. This book was more than a little uneven, but the parts that I liked, I really liked. Given that most people seem to think the series gets stronger from here, I'll definitely give the next book a try.   My rating: 6/10

18. Jurassic Park, by Michael Crichton

(Read for the Read It Again, Sam challenge.) I love this book. I've read it at least as many times as I've seen the movie, and that's a lot. It does a great job of balancing action and science, and even though I know what happens, I still have trouble putting it down sometimes. Also, there's so much in the book that never made it into the movie, and even some things that made it into the other movies in one form or another. There are also scenes that are so vivid in my mind that I'm always surprised to discover they weren't in the movies - I could swear I've actually seen the bit with the baby triceratops, as well as the bit in the raptors' nest, but no, they're just in the book. Objectively, this isn't a five star book, but when have I ever rated objectively? I'll just repeat my opening statement: I love this book.   My rating: 10/10

An Easter meditation

This was something from several years back that I came across while going through old journals of mine. I do not claim to be a theologian, nor am I a poet, but I thought it was appropriate for this Easter weekend.

***************

It was perfect, this world you created.
And we were as well, made in your likeness, like you and yet not,
For even in our perfection we were still nothing compared to your infinite majesty.
And yet you chose to walk with us,
To talk with us, who are merely your creations.
It astounds me every time I think on it.

And then comes the great conundrum:
In all our perfection, you gave us free will,
The ability to choose our actions, rather than being automatons,
Because there can be no relationship without choice.
And we chose so wrongly.

"You can be like God."
But we already were, in every way that you intended us to be.
We didn't need anything more.
We simply wanted it, more than we wanted you.
The choice was ours, the guilt is ours, the sin is ours.
And perfection was torn asunder.

So we hid,
From you, from our shame,
From our choice,
Feeling the weight of guilt for the first time.
Now we knew good from evil, and saw we had chosen evil.
It wasn't the revelation we were looking for.

But still you came to us, even in our hideous imperfection,
Came to curse, but also to promise.
For though in your justice we must know your wrath,
Yet you would not leave us to your anger forever,
Would not leave your creation in darkness for all eternity.

Your promise came side by side with the curse:
The world will suffer, and so shall we,
But not forever.
Perfection will be restored, the price paid,
The blood-guilt wiped away,
In your time, and by your plan.

By human standards, it unfolded so slowly,
Generations upon generations living and dying without seeing its fulfillment.
Yet the promise remained, was expounded again and again.
"Through you shall all the nations be blessed,"
"A king to reign on David's throne forever,"
"By his stripes we are healed."

Yet after everything, after the multitude of promises,
And covenant upon covenant,
We didn't see it even when he stood in front of us.
Our blindness was so great that we shouted,
"Crucify him!"
When we should have been falling at his feet.

But it had to happen that way.
He had to take the punishment, take the guilt of the world upon himself,
Even the guilt of those who beat him, who spit on him, who drove nails into his hands.
There was no other way for your justice to be satisfied.
A perfect man, an innocent man,
Taking upon himself the punishment that should have been our end,
Washing the slate clean by shedding his blood
In our place.

His righteousness covering over our imperfection,
His death erasing our debt,
So we can once again stand before you.
And his resurrection standing as a promise of our own,
Our new life in him,
And the final renewal of this world,
Back to the perfection you created when everything was new.

A good church is hard to find......but worth looking for anyway

At the end of last month, we officially became members of South Dayton PCA, and this past Sunday, we were publicly introduced to the congregation as new members, along with a bunch of other people who also joined in the past few weeks. It was a moment to celebrate the beginning of something new, and also the culmination of what was a much harder transition than I anticipated.

Finding a church home here in Ohio was a difficult process. Thinking about it as we were moving, I knew it would be tough to leave my wonderful ERC church family behind, but I was confident God would direct us to a good church in Ohio. I just didn't realize at the time that the methods he would use would be so hard to accept.

We moved in July, and on our very first Sunday in Ohio, we went to a wonderful church. The preaching was good, the singing was wonderful, and the sense of community was exactly what we were looking for. We did try one other church in those first few weeks, since we'd had some friends encourage us to visit, but that first church was the one we really felt was the right fit for us.

So, in mid-August, we discussed the possibility of joining the church. We knew going in that they might have problems with me having been baptized as an infant, and after talking to the pastor, we thought we were clear on how that would work - they wouldn't force me to be rebaptized in order to become a member. And then, a month later, when it came time to actually join, we found out that wasn't true. They had just assumed they would be able to talk me into changing my mind, since that's what had happened with others before me. If you know me, you'll know how successful they were at that.

What followed was a huge mess, the details of which I won't go into here because I don't think it's appropriate. Trevor was amazing throughout the whole thing, and in the end, he was the one who finally told the elders that we couldn't wait in limbo any longer and were going to go somewhere else.

Needless to say, the whole situation was very rough for me. I felt like the church leadership were telling me I wasn't a real Christian because my baptism "didn't count," and I was constantly fighting anger and bitterness towards them. I also struggled with a sense of disillusion in the whole concept of church, because I felt so rejected by these people who should be my family in Christ. But God, being a wonderfully good God, didn't leave me to wallow in that hurt and anger and despondency.

First, he used my original church family to remind me why being a part of a church is a good thing. One of our trips to PA fell just two Sundays after the whole mess started, and without knowing it, my Christ Pres family gave me exactly what I needed at that moment - a picture of what being part of God's family looks like when it's done well. It was wonderful (going back "home" always is), and I came back encouraged and ready to start the arduous process of church-hunting all over again. Disillusionment dealt with, reality restored.

The anger was harder to overcome, but God kept convicting me about it, so I couldn't just pretend it was okay because it was justified. Finding a good church in SDPC helped mitigate some of the frustration with what had happened, but it didn't get rid of the bitterness that I was stubbornly holding on to. Finally, at the end of October, I was forced to confront it. The reformed churches in the area held a joint Reformation Day service, and the pastor who had hurt me was there and gave one of the five messages. I had two choices: either sit there and listen to him with bitterness festering in my heart, or forgive him and let it go. And sitting there looking out at a church full of God's people, thinking about the faith we share and the God we serve, I realized what I had to do: repent and ask God to help me overcome my anger, because it wasn't doing anyone any good.

Today, I can look back at the winding and sometimes difficult path that brought us to where we are today - new members of SDPC - and I can see how God used it to teach me some lessons I probably wouldn't have learned otherwise. I can even see that I was right to be confident in God's direction from the very beginning, even if in the middle I seriously doubted that. And I can be grateful that there weren't any other unexpected twists or turns on the way to finally finding the church where we're supposed to be right now.

There's a reason I didn't blog about all this back in the fall - I was still striving for the right perspective. The other day I drove past that first church without feeling twinges of regret or loss, and I knew God had been working in me, driving out the anger and hurt and replacing it with his peace. Then, this Sunday, once the anxiety brought on by standing up in front of people dissipated, I felt very thankful for where we've ended up. And that finally seemed like the right perspective.

I swear this isn't just a book blog...

Since it's been a couple months since I posted any book reviews, and I don't have any coherent non-book-related thoughts to share at the moment, here's the latest batch of books. The first three of these were read last year. In fact, while other people were out at New Year's Eve parties, I was home finishing off A Tale of Two Cities. I came up four books short on the reading challenge for last year, but I've finished two of them so far this year, and started a third, so they'll get read eventually. And of the seven books I've read this year, only one has been from the library, so I'm doing well at reading from my own bookshelves.

From 2016, towards the reading challenge:

46. The Haunting of Hill House, by Shirley Jackson

(Read for the category "A book that scares you.") Confession: I don't like books that scare me. I prefer books that leave me feeling unsettled or disturbed, not actually frightened. The Haunting of Hill House sort of managed to achieve that; however, it fell just short of being truly disturbing. Perhaps it was because in the 50+ years since this book was written, variants of this story have been told so many times that everything feels cliched now, but I never really got the shivers down my spine or the sick feeling in my gut that a good bit of horror brings. That being said, this is on pretty much every best-of list for horror novels, and while I didn't find it as unsettling as I expected to, it was still a nicely creepy book.   My rating: 7/10

47. Orange Is the New Black, by Piper Kerman

(Read for the category "A book with a color in the title.") 1) No, I have not seen the show. 2) This book was recommended to me by a friend whose undergrad degree was in Applied Ethics and Social Philosophy, and who's now in school for social work. 3) I've actually driven right near the Danbury prison several times - there are signs along I-84 there warning against picking up hitchhikers. 4) My biggest takeaway from this book: there has got to be a better way of handling both our justice and our prison systems.   My rating: 9/10

48. A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens

(Read for the category "A book your mom loves.") I can see why my mother loves this book so much. I hadn't read it since high school, so I had forgotten about the delightfully dry humor sprinkled liberally throughout this otherwise very serious tale. Also, the use of foreshadowing and imagery was lovely, and the scene with the echoing footsteps and the oncoming storm literally sent chills down my spine. And while I generally find Dickens' writing to be intolerably dull, this book was anything but. The pieces of the story were woven together masterfully, which was even more apparent on a reread, and the book picked up speed as it went, bringing all the separate threads together at last in the end.   My rating: 10/10

From 2017:

1. Finding Rokovoko, by prufrock's love

My first "book" of the year was actually a nicely creepy X-Files fanfic by one of my favorite authors, set during Season 4. It struck a good balance with MSR, early cancer arc angst, odd creatures, unexplained phenomena, and a very haunted asylum. Plus, there were nice tie-ins to various bits of X-Files mythology throughout.  My rating: 8/10

2. The Moon-Spinners, by Mary Stewart

(Read for the Read It Again, Sam challenge.) This was probably my fourth or fifth time reading this book, although I hadn't read it in at least ten years. Of all Mary Stewart's mystery novels, I like the ones set in the Mediterranean the best, since I love her descriptions of the islands and the sea. While the heroines in her books are fairly interchangeable, that doesn't detract from my enjoyment of her writing style, especially the way she phrases things. I know this isn't the best book ever, but reading it has always left me feeling happy, probably because it appeals to both my romantic side and my love of beautiful descriptions.  My rating: 8/10

3. Gardens of the Moon, by Steven Erikson

(Read for the Mount TBR challenge.) I've read a lot of epic fantasy, so I'm used to keeping track of a large cast of characters and complicated plots and subplots. That came in very handy with this book, as you're thrown into a rather complicated world without much in the way of background and expected to keep up as the plot plunges ahead. I actually found that storytelling style to be quite refreshing, and it kept me actively engaged in the book. Erikson is also brilliant at writing action scenes - the battle with the assassins was especially well handled, but all the action was excellent. I was expecting a bit more of an epic conclusion than actually occurred, but I was still quite satisfied. Plus, the climax of this book managed to sow some very interesting seeds that I'm sure will be developed in later books.  My rating: 8/10

4. In the Heart of the Sea, by Nathaniel Philbrick

(Read for last year's challenge, for the category "A book you started but never finished.") I started this book back in 2015, devoured the first half of it, and then got distracted and set it down for months. By the time I thought about picking it back up again, it had been long enough that I figured I should start over from the beginning, but I was never motivated enough to do that. Thus, it sat on my shelf for nearly two years, half read and never finished. Finally coming back to it now (including starting over), it was just as good as I remembered it being - and by "good" I mean well written, not an easy or fun story to read. To quote the epilogue, "The Essex disaster is not a tale of adventure. It is a tragedy that happens to be one of the greatest true stories ever told." The first third or so focuses on the history of Nantucket, the Essex, and the whaling industry, and then the rest of the book details what happened after the Essex was sunk by a whale. It's this section that I found both hardest to read, because of how awful the tale of survival was at times, and hardest to put down, because I needed to know how it all turned out.   My rating: 9/10

5. Nineteen Eighty-Four, by George Orwell

(Read for last year's challenge, for the category "A banned book.") As far as I could find, there are no currently banned books in the US, so I picked one that was banned in the Soviet Union for nearly fifty years. My thoughts upon reading it: Well, that was disturbing. I know Orwell wrote it in response to both the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany, but it's disconcertingly applicable to today's political climate as well. Also, there's no happy ending for this dystopian novel, and any shred of hope is systematically destroyed, which contributes to making it such an unsettling book. As to the writing itself, I thought the majority of the book was quite well written, excluding one chapter that's pretty much entirely exposition and felt rather out of place.   My rating: 8/10

6. Don't Waste Your Life, by John Piper

(Read for the Mount TBR challenge.) Like most books or sermons on this topic, this book does a really good job of driving home the point that your life needs to be lived for a greater purpose - namely, making known the wonders of God's glory. And like most books or sermons on this topic, it doesn't spend enough time on the part I'm most interested in - namely, what the heck does that actually look like in everyday life? I've already been convinced of the main point; that's why I'm reading the book in the first place, to figure out how to better accomplish that goal. I'd rather have some more in-depth material on application, and less time spent on proving the theological background. So while it's well-written, it's not really exactly what I was hoping for.   My rating: 7/10

7. A Wizard of Earthsea, by Ursula K. Le Guin

(Read for the Read It Again, Sam challenge.) For a long time, this was the only Earthsea book I owned, so I've reread it a lot. There are scenes from this book that are so vividly imprinted on my brain that I've actually dreamed them more than once over the years. I always found the interaction between the shadow and Ged to be both fascinating and disturbing, and I love the end, where he chases the shadow across the vastness of the ocean.   My rating: 8/10