Another move, another life lesson

Moving is very stressful. And yet, when you have friends and family helping you load and unload the truck, parts of it become almost fun. It definitely makes the new house feel more like a home when you've already spent time there hanging out with people you love, working and laughing together.

I have to admit, I was not looking forward to this move, even up to the moment when I drove away from Dayton. There were so many positive things about my time in Ohio that I really didn't want to leave behind, and even though I knew objectively that there were also going to be positive things about moving to Pittsburgh, it was hard to feel that. After all, we'd just spent an evening hauling boxes with our awesome small group, followed by one last walk around our quiet little neighborhood. It was easier in that moment to connect with what I was losing than what I was gaining, which I think is true in lots of situations, and not just when it comes to moves.

Anyway, I was in desperate need of a reminder that we were moving from something good to something also good, which showed up on my doorstep in the form of a bunch of my favorite people. I know the next few months will still be hard, as we look for a church and settle in to the neighborhood and work on building new friendships from the ground up. That being said, it was lovely to start things out with a renewed appreciation of what's wonderfully unique about this particular move for me: being close to so many people who've been an important part of my life over the years.

Yes, moving is still stressful. But when you spend your first afternoon in your new home eating lunch on your porch with your mother, that's a special thing. And it's something to hold on to as I hit the inevitable rough patches of the months ahead.

Maybe not the most impressive porch view, but it's home
for the next few years, and that's what counts.
  

Don't Panic: A reading update

Since someone who shall remained unnamed complained that my blog posts are too long for them to read the whole thing, here's a quick summary: I read a bunch of books. Some of them were good, some not so much. If you only read one book off this list, make it either Born a Crime, by Trevor Noah, or Outlaw Platoon, by Sean Parnell, which were both excellent. And for the love of all that's good in this world, do not waste your time on The Alchemist; run far, far away if anyone ever recommends it to you.

Okay, now for the longer version...

The KidLit challenge for May was any nonfiction book, which fit nicely with my goal of reading more nonfiction this year. The challenge for June was a bit more complicated, and involved reading a children's book you'd never read that was written by an author whose other books you loved. I ended up with books by Roald Dahl, Shel Silverstein, and Scott O'Dell, who all wrote at least one book that I loved as a kid.

This post also includes the second of May's Keeping It Real books (on asteroids, from the 500s in the Dewey Decimal system), and both of June's books (the DDC was 900-999, and my list of books I wanted to read was at least ten times as long as the number I could reasonably get through in a month). I ended up returning a lot of unread books to the library from both May and June's KIR challenges, but I added them all to my TBR list so I can come back to them later.

And because five reading challenges wasn't enough for me, I also joined a Read the World challenge on Habitica. Reading my way around the world has been something I've wanted to do for a while now, and I'm finally starting to buckle down and actually do it. For this challenge, the rules are pretty loose - any book set in, written about, or by an author from the countries on the monthly list counts - but for my own purposes, the book has to be written by an author from a specified country in order to count. May's challenge was a book from an African country, and June's challenge was a book from any of the BRICS countries (Brazil, Russia, India, China, and South Africa). I ended up reading books from South Africa (for May) and Brazil and India (for June), so I've crossed three more countries off my list.

31. Turning Points, by Mark A. Noll

(Read for the Mount TBR challenge.) The adult Sunday School class at our church worked through this book back in the fall, as part of a celebration of the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation. I bought the book, then promptly had back-to-back colds and missed almost all the classes, so I decided to work my way through it this year. It was a good overview of some of the major developments in the history of Christianity (and not just Reformed Protestant Christianity), and I appreciated how readable it was on the whole, even if it was a little dry at times. I do wish there'd been more about the history of Christianity outside of the Western world, but for a quick survey of the history of the church, it was quite decent.   My rating: 7/10

32. Born a Crime, by Trevor Noah

(Read for the Read the World challenge.) A few thoughts... First, I realized just how little I know about South Africa in general, and about apartheid specifically. Second, I loved the writing style - Trevor Noah's blend of humor and seriousness and the manner in which he relates events worked perfectly for me. Third, I really want to listen to the audiobook version, now that I've read the book and thus won't be confused when I lose bits and pieces of the story since processing audio is not my forte.   My rating: 9/10

33. Outlaw Platoon, by Sean Parnell

(Read for the Mount TBR challenge.) There are books where you finish and you're not really sure how you're supposed to condense your thoughts and reactions into coherent sentences. This was one of those, so I'm just going to say this: go read it yourself; you won't regret it. It was both hard to read and hard to put down, and it's well worth your time. Hands down the best book of its kind that I've come across so far. (Also, it seems very fitting that I finished this book on Memorial Day, even though that wasn't planned.)   My rating: 10/10

Worth the effort: The friendship version

The closer we get to moving, the more trouble I have finding the motivation to be social. Friendships are a lot of work, requiring both time and energy, which are limited resources, and it's easy to take the selfish approach and only look at cost versus benefit for me. With our departure date approaching, that benefit seems to decrease with every day.

It doesn't help that we've been here less than two years, so I don't have any really strong friendships, simply because I haven't spent sufficient time with anyone to get to that point. If we were going to be here for another year, there would be the potential for casual friendships to become deeper connections, but we aren't, so they won't. And giving up on these relationships now instead of continuing to put effort into them until we move seems like the most energy-efficient option.

I know that isn't right, though, and when I take the time to think things through, there are some serious flaws in the assumptions that lead to that conclusion.

First of all, I'm assuming that friendships should be evaluated solely on their benefit to me. It's very tempting to think that way, but it's also incredibly selfish, and just plain wrong. Friendships are all about living and growing together, encouraging and supporting one another, and sharing struggles and joys, with everything being a two-way street. That's part of what makes them so much work, but also part of what makes them so wonderful.

My second faulty assumption is that I'm not going to get any significant encouragement or support or joy out of my friendships here, thus making me reluctant to put in the energy. In reality, these friendships - especially within our small group, but also outside of it - continue to surprise me with how much they have to offer. Thanks to the friends God has put in my life here in Ohio, I've been challenged and encouraged and have learned important life lessons, and I've laughed and nerded out and generally felt welcomed and loved. So even though it's true that deeper friendships do have a greater potential for all of these things, my friendships here continue to be great blessings.

Finally, I'm also assuming that bailing on these friendships now will make moving away easier. This is only my third move in seven years of being an Air Force wife, but I'm already tired of leaving just when I'm starting to have real friends. Missing people sucks, and if I keep my distance, then I won't really miss anyone. However, the reality is that if I distance myself ahead of time, I'll just be lonely now AND after we move, and I'll miss out on all the little blessings of the friendships I do have here and now.

In light of that, it's a little easier to find the motivation to make this last month count. In fact, the very process of writing this blog post encouraged me to take advantage of two opportunities for community that I might otherwise have ignored. I suppose that's evidence of how important it is to engage in a bit of introspection every now and again, rather than living based solely on your feelings, because my gut was definitely way off on this one. Now I get to make the most of the time I have left with my Ohio friends, until it's time to move on.