Over the last few years, I've had sort of a revelation: It's okay to like painting my toenails, and it's okay to like wearing guys' cargo shorts. I can love action and superhero movies most, and I can cry at happy endings in chick flicks. My closet can have a Steelers jersey hanging next to a vibrant fuchsia shirt. I can get excited about dressing up, and I can also wear the same pair of jeans for a week. (Or two. Or three. Because everyone knows jeans make dirt magically vanish.) I can talk football, or I can squeal about good-looking guys. And I can own twenty pairs of shoes, most of which are flip flops or boots. In short, I'm not required to choose between being a tomboy or being girly - I can be both, as it suits me.
It's taken me a long time to get to the point where I'm comfortable enough with myself to truly be myself without worrying all the time. Now let's be real here - I've never been fashionable, or popular, or anything less than nerdy. But for a very long time, that really bugged me. I liked wearing what I wanted and being passionate about what I wanted, but at the same time, I hated not fitting in. A big part of that was probably the fact that I got teased a lot, which honestly happens much less as an adult. (Seriously, kids can be vicious little monsters.) But I like to think that I've also developed more self-confidence as I've gotten older, that I've figured out who I am and where I fit in the world (at least sort of), with mostly positive results.
Of course, that doesn't mean everything's always easy. In fact, the whole issue of fitting in (or, in my case, not fitting in) is a little more front and center for me at the moment, since I'm going to have to find a new friend group out here in Ohio now. But however that goes, I know that A) I have friends elsewhere whose weirdness complements mine, B) I have a husband who loves me both in spite of and because of my various quirks, and C) I have a God who created me to be unique. So forget about fitting into one category or another - I'll just be who I am and be happy with that.
